Coolest Tasoni (I)
"But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; you are Mine.'" Isaiah 43:1The coolest person at our new church recently dubbed me "coolest tasoni." And while I blushed and enjoyed it, a huge part of me was wondering--is that really the title I'm aspiring to?"Cool" and I have never really gotten along. We have a rather sordid past. As any immigrant will tell you, for us especially that feeling of belonging is critically important and impossible to firmly grasp.In sixth grade, while at school, my best friend and I traveled in different social circles. While we were inseparable after school, at lunch we sat at different tables and were both happy. Then came "the note." My BFF got a note from another girl "Carey." Carey asked BFF in this note, "Why are you friends with *her*--she's negative one million on the coolness scale!" Yes, you read that right. Coolest Tasoni is negative one million on the coolness scale.Now BFF had the brilliant idea to share this note with me (instead of just keeping this news to herself). Devastated and FURIOUS, I sat down on my bed to write Carey a scathing response. But God intervened. He sent my mother in to ask what I was doing and gave me the speck of wisdom needed to be honest with her.Mom and dad then sat me down for a conversation about turning the other cheek. I'm not sure how--thank You, Holy Spirit!--but I decided to go with their advice: skip the angry letter and instead just ask Carey, "Why don't you like me?" It seemed weak to me. But dad always said, "God will defend you," and it was time to put that statement to the test.I'm still in awe of what happened the next day. Long story short: Carey's circle of friends (not my friends) cornered her and confronted her and told her to leave me alone or she'd be out. "Therefore, this is what the LORD says: 'See, I will defend your cause and avenge you...'" (Jeremiah 51:36a) The Word of God was alive before me.Of course I want to feel like I belong in my new church and with my new congregation. It's only human. But more importantly, I want to feel like I belong to God, and I want God to feel like I belong to Him. Belonging to God comes with so many perks. Is there any comfort greater than knowing that He would leave 99 sheep to come looking for little old me when I'm lost? Is there any comfort greater than knowing that every tear I have cried has been recorded and bottled?While at every meeting I still feel like an outsider--there's an ease and a comfort that's just not there yet--I know I am there to be with God and to serve Him. And that gives me strength. Whether I'm cool enough or not.Update: You can read Coolest Tasoni (II) here.