How I Hate Goodbyes


Is there anything so terrible in this world as a goodbye?

As I pack my life into boxes big and small, I try not to think about what it all means. For 15 years, I've lived in the same neighborhood. For 22 years, I have lived in the same city, in the same state.  

Now I say farewell to fall colors, farewell to purple mountain majesties, farewell to my beloved cardinals greeting snowy mornings.

But worst of all--hardest of all--I have to say goodbye to my church. Yes, this is the hardest of all: harder than leaving my family (I will see them; they have no choice).

I have attended the same church since it held its first service in '93. We moved from rented church to rented church (and sometimes rented school). At one place, they wanted us out by 2 p.m. so our interim priest held confessions on a sidewalk bench.  

Now my church has its own building--with a large plot of land waiting for development. We have our own priest--kind, generous, unassuming--with a wonderful family. We have an enormous cache of children who will soon grow and take over the service.

The people of my church are singular in this world in that they are achingly kind and loving. Their faith is deep and childlike. Their loyalty to each other is unshakable. If ever I fell in a pit, these are the people I could count on to weave the rope and pull me out. 

I taught Sunday School for many of those years, and my little kindergartners are now high school  and middle school students. I know the names of most of the kids in our church (over 200 of them), and I consider them all my children.

These children are brilliant. They are artists, hymnodists, scientists, mathematicians, deacons, poets, and scholars. They live to serve and love to help. They are champions. In spiritual warfare, these are the soldiers to have by your side. They have taught me so much about myself, about the world, and most importantly about God's love for us. I will be forever indebted to them.

I would be remiss if I didn't also share that the members of my neighbor churches to the west, east, and north (you know who you are) are dear, dear friends who have helped me and guided me often in my spiritual journey (which is still only just beginning).

But thankfully in these last days, goodbye is rarely forever. And every goodbye is a glimpse of all the future hellos to come.  Travel and communication are easier than ever (Skype me!). My friends will only be a phone call or car/plane trip away.

I'll always carry with me the lessons and love that we have shared. I am so grateful to God for the time we have spent together.

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