Minimalism: The Weight of Wedding Gifts
I have a closet full of unused (or lightly used) wedding gifts. A whole closet. I can't decide whether I should be embarrassed or just grateful. We are surrounded by the most loving and generous and Godly network of friends and family a girl could pray for.As I mentioned in last week's post, my Lenten focus will be cultivating a more minimalist perspective. I will be practicing letting go of my "stuff" in favor of holding on to God. I have decided to start here, at my closet of wedding gifts. Because it's been nearly a decade now, and at some point I need to confront all of these items given in love, received by love, and held onto for love's sake. That time is Lent. I mean... now.Every wedding gift, for me, is a symbol of the person I thought I would become when married. A person with a crystal-laden entryway table. A person who hosts exquisite parties with the most delectable hors d'oeuvre. A person who needed a lacy amber decanter.I am none of those things.I'm a mother of two very active (thank God!) children. We are constantly jumping on beds, karate chopping each other, and, as my daughter aptly named it, "Nike-ing around." There will be no crystal-laden entryway. What we really need is a mudroom.I am an incorrigible introvert. I can't stand parties. Unless it's family only, I tend to get overwhelmed. I'm not a great hostess. I really just want to sit with people one-on-one and get to know their deepest selves. Add to that the whole priest's family angle, and I really value my privacy. Even if I host a group now and then, it will be completely on my own terms. There will be no hors d'oeuvre. Chips and salsa for you.And while it was cute to think of putting sparkling cider in the decanter in my early 20s, I now find the idea entirely laughable. (We're an alcohol-free family.)There is a weight to the Future Imagined. There's the person I was on my wedding day and the person I am now ten years later. In between, bloated and taking up space, is the person I predicted I would be. The idea of this posh Laura fills my head, my heart, and worst of all, my actual, physical living space.How does one declutter a thought?Decluttering a space, in theory, is very simple. You make four piles: Keep. Give away. Toss/Recycle. Relocate.But who can really separate the emotion from the stuff?Sometimes you can't. Sometimes you just have to face that baggage head on and work your way THROUGH it. Yes, it's frustrating. Yes, it takes longer. But becoming more self-aware is one of the virtues you can't afford to neglect."The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way" Proverbs 14:8a"Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye" Matthew 7:5aSo, I gave myself a whole week to tackle this one closet. A whole week to work through "who I am, who I'm not, and who I wanna to be."I found new homes for the stuff I truly couldn't bear to part with. I can visit that cake stand at this house and the amber decanter at another's.I made Abouna stand with me as I made some of the toughest of the decisions. I made him take the excess to Goodwill, so I couldn't change my mind.I made peace with a few of the "wishful thinking" items--because a girl can still dream.What I have at the end, miraculously, is a place for current Laura to exist. A place to grow from here to there, unfettered by an old vision of the Future. A place for GOD to work, for GOD to shape me into whomever He desires. While it might not be what I dreamed, once upon a time, it will be more glorious--for it exists in His will.This is the food of Lent, the sweeping away of the old man in favor of the new, the creation of a margin for His plans by letting go of yours.Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work."Next week, I tackle the papers of the past.Your turn: Where can you start letting go of material things (and the emotion attached to them) to make more room for Christ?
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("Hey, Laura! What about all that stuff still in the closet?" ... "Most of that is empty boxes for things that are currently in use--to be reused when we move again--which will be very soon.")